i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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