I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I will be naked everywhere
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We need to get me chipped asap
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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