watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize