I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
