So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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