He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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