trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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