You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
