why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
