I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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