dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
