I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
