my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I love having hate sex.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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