when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
