i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
