no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
