just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
