if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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