I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think my nap took me to another dimension
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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