It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
