We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
bring money and cleavage
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
