She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
