this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
