Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
