Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
