Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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