The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
