You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
