i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
