Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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