plz talk dirty to me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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