Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
