Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
