4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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