my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
