Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
