Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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