sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i will never coherently bang her
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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