tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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