..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
