question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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