I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
