I'm so fucking centered right now
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
