I seem to have left my pride at pride
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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