Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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