She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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