yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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