Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
