I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
