I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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