While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
