I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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