Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
