Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
