yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have tasted many bathrooms
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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