i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
