hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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